I hate my shoulders

I, 18 (mtf pre everything) hate my shoulders, they are my biggest insecurity. they're 18 inches across and I looked it up and that's above average for even men. There's a girl in my friend group who keeps bringing up how broad my shoulders are and every time she brings it up it makes me physically sick to my stomach, I can't even ask her to stop commenting on them because the "ideal man" wants wide shoulders and if I say mine make me disgusted I'll out myself.

I'm not even muscular it's just my stupid bone structure that makes them wide. I want to force them smaller some days but ultimately know that is impossible to do. I look so much like a man that I wonder if I should even transition because I really doubt I'll pass.