It’s Not Actually About Carly

Unpopular opinion: this Carly obsession isn’t about Carly.

Why on earth did they handle this better as children who hadn’t even had therapy yet? Why has Carly, or the idea of Carly in relation to them, become such an obsession?

I could go on a tangent about the link to addiction and fixating on one cure rather than address all your real problems, but I won’t here.

Truth is I think the reason it’s bothering them more now isn’t just because they know they have money to care for her but all the reasons other than money they chose adoption.

They said they wanted education, which they didn’t do. No career apart from MTV.

No change in the rotten family dynamic. Jail, estrangement, separation, serious mental health struggles, drinking and smoking.

The only thing that changed was money and apparently they’ve had some trouble being careful with that.

And despite the fact that didn’t change, they chose to keep three daughters… and I’m not saying they shouldn’t have but I am saying that has to feel at least a little weird to the one they didn’t.

OF means they need money, and it probably isn’t paradise in their marriage even if they act like it’s great. And it doesn’t help people are confronting their rewrite of history by digging up clips clearly showing they knew what was going on and got more than they asked for, while they refused to keep in communication with Carly and send gifts while they were having Nova blowing out Carly’s bday candles on tv… we can see them being late to a visit to make a scrapbook. We can see them violating boundaries and saying they can’t make those dates for the visit they’ve been waiting for because they already booked a vacation.

Caitlyn’s gifts and statements about Carly aren’t even about her. They’re about them.

Theory: they need the validation of contact with B&T because the baby face sympathy has worn off and they’re being faced with their own failures to fulfill the reasons they placed her. To justify their lives and parenting now they have to believe they never should have placed her or that they deserve full access and freedom. They need people to tell them that because they don’t feel like it.

Being picked as the parents of their kid and being praised nationwide was the only parental figure validation they’ve ever gotten. They are mad at Brandon and Teresa like teens and young adults mad at their parents for not approving of their choices.

They are mad at B&T more so than even willing to do what it takes to see Carly. Because they’re upset by the rejection from the parents they picked. The parents that said they were proud of them and liked them and now are too embarrassed to have contact.

They want B&Ts approval again.