I'm so fucking sick of it (cyst since 2016)

I don't know how you handle it you guys...really i'm just so sick of it right now...

For context I got my first cyst in september of 2016, i was just starting my last year of high school. It felt awful but at least i got the "little" surgery (the one where you just have an medium incision and you let the thing close off on its own). Obviously i'm French so i didn't cost me anything but it had a cost in terms of mental health and just brain capacity I guess during these like ~6 weeks.

I was told that it could come back but that was really rare. Guess what ? It did come back ! In May of 2017, just mere days before the very important final exam of High school in France. I got the incision again, bandages by a nurse twice a day, no physical exercise, no swimming etc.

So in August of 2017 they decided to do the "big" surgery on me, like the whole "remove the entire section of flesh in the area"...and hell that hurt so fucking much !! Could not walk, could not move that was the worst pain i've ever been in my entire life i guess. So yeah, bandages again for like 4 to 5 months because - of course - the thing wouldn't close on its own...I even put honey on my butt !! HONEY !!! That's crazy

It eventually became closed, but it flared up again several times before my surgeon said in september of 2019 "Fuck it, let's just not do anything anymore and let you move to a new city for your studies !!!". So I moved to the new city, had a great year without any cysts until April of 2020 where I had a little flare up that went away rather quickly...

But now : the thing is here again !! Full blown cyst !! And i am so sick of it, i take my bike every day to go to my internship, i have no other solution and I don't know how i will do it if I need to have surgery...And I also don't know if my mental health will survive this crisis...

Please if you have been in my situation or in a similar one, share any tips you have ❤