just venting

hi, im back again hahaha idk. i dont wanna keep bothering my friends that i miss her (my ex whom i recently broke up 2 days ago) for context i was in a wlw relationship for a year and 4 months. me 19, my ex 20.

also please don't be too harsh on me, ik im in my delulu phase and i know i shouldn't be babied or what but ill know ill realize it soon on how dumb i look like for missing someone who ghosted me multiple times:'))

it's pretty kind of hard rn for me to stay focus since im pursuing nursing rn, it's so hard to not just think about her and not have a mental breakdown. i keep thinking about the times where she treated me better (last yr was probably the happiest we were) small things such as doing the laundry makes me cry, ive recently discovered that the nail polish ( i used to put on her nails, since mahilig sya magppaint ng nails saakin esp color black) i cant help but think how the first time i applied nail polish to her and how she would make fun of me bc hindi ako marunong that time since bago palang ako maglagay ng nail polish 😭 how i would slowly get better at putting nail polish on her tas she would notice. even the small smell of nail polish makes it enough for a tear to drop off my eyes. i cant.

i really want to move on or atleast distract myseIf in the meantime but i cant hahaha, posting it freely here bc as far as i know wala naman syang reddit account. i just can't believe how easily she let go of this relationship (even tho alam ko nga i initiated it, wanting to see if she'll fight for us after all the times ive begged for us to not break up) 😭 idk anymore ahhh, i dont wanna date anyone anymore.