Eating routine/ritual questions

I’m almost a month or so into recovery and I’m still wanting everything to be perfect when it comes to meal time. I have to have gone pee, crack my back and my knuckles, have everything set out nicely, etc. Overall everything in my mind has to be perfect or I’ll get super anxious. Does anyone know why I do this?? Or how to stop?? I’m not sure if it’s a normal thing or just me.

Also I tend to cut my food up still into smaller pieces, any tips to stop doing this?