My dad thought I was manipulating him since I was 7
I don't go on reddit a lot so forgive me if I got the format wrong is some way. I (15f) have a tendency to not count change or money when it's given to me and my dad (47m) hates it. It's not like I just give people wads of cash or anything it's just that if my friend gives me the exact amount of money to pay for something then I trust that they counted it properly (this hasn't gotten me in trouble with anyone but my father). My dad says that when I don't count the change it makes me seem dumb to other people despite him knowing I'm smart. So the story starts when my dad drops me off at my therapist; just before I get out of the car he counts the money and I remember him getting to $170 exact. He hands me the money and I go off to my appointment. He picks me up and waits in a chair while I pay the therapist. Now keep in mind I just went through therapy, my brain is frazzled and my mind is currently replaying everything that was said in the session, so when I see a bunch of random bills in my hand I just panic and forget how to count properly. I turn to my dad and say, "Hey dad you gave me 170, right?" He looks up from his phone, looks me in the eyes and says, "You can count, can't you?"
Now I'm embarrassed and my therapist is in the room so I just mumble some strange mix of "yeah" and "I can count". I count it (yes it was 170 exact) and we head off into the car. My dad is upset and he says something along the lines of "I don't understand why you do that. You always make yourself look bad by acting dumb when you aren't." I'm used to him acting like this so I say, "Which do you think looks worse? Me looking dumb or you asking your own kid if they can count?" He stays silent for about 2 seconds and comes in with examples of me acting dumb. He talks about instances where I'm looking for something and even look up as if though it could be on the ceiling. I explain that when I'm panicked and looking for something I do sometimes look up but never for more than a second just to clear my head. Then he brings up when I was looking for the TV remote and he said "it's over there" WHILE HE WAS BEHIND ME and I looked the other direction. I had to try my best not to be sarcastic as I explained that no, I can't magically tell what "over there" means.
He isn't done though and he says something that shocks me: "Even when you were seven you would act dumb to get sympathy out of people." I'm sorry, WHAT? What SEVEN YEAR OLD is manipulating people for sympathy? Not to mention I'm the youngest child so I don't think I was lacking in the attention department. I ask him "Why on earth would a child pretend to be dumb so that they can get sympathy? I hate being perceived as dumb and you know that! Not to mention, who did I want sympathy from just now? The only other person in the room was my therapist, I think she has enough sympathy for me." Surprisingly he doesn't totally dismiss me and just asks why I would pretend to be dumb then if it wasn't for sympathy. I explain to him that some people just have trouble making their brain function after things like therapy and I have always had trouble doing anything math related when under stress. He then gets concerned because "How can we possibly send you to college when you can't count?" I explain to him I CAN count and what happened earlier is even more proof they can send me out on my own because I handled the situation very well. In the ten or so seconds it took for me to panic I:
- acknowledged I was panicking
- acknowledged that if I tried to count and got it wrong it would make me seem bad
3.realized the best way to figure out how much money I had without messing up was to ask someone
- decided to ask him since I remembered him counting the money already
He took this as a good enough answer, laughed about something and then we left the car and went inside the store (at this point we had just been arguing in the car at the parking lot of a store). I can't say I'm surprised he thought this about me for 8 years since he likes making assumptions about people's behaviors and never asking them but I'm just shocked he could come up with something so ludicrous. I'm defiantly cutting off a lot of contact with my parents after I graduate college because they can get much MUCH worse than this. I would do it earlier but I'm graduating High School at 16 and won't be a legal adult until I'm two years into college (Also they're paying for my schooling and as selfish as it might be I would like to not lose that and be in debt)