Maybe I have a learning disability?

Hi there!

I'm not sure if this hyperventilation is relevant here, but thanks for reading if you do!

Throughout elementary school, I always felt at a disadvantage compared to the others. I constantly felt like everyone was smarter than me. Learning was difficult (especially math and reading comprehension), and fitting in was also a problem, so I always felt like I wasn't good enough.

At the beginning of high school, I developed psychological issues – anorexia and depression – which completely narrowed my thinking, so I couldn’t really focus on studying. I also visited child psychiatry, where the educational psychologist diagnosed me with a reading comprehension disorder and issues with identifying key points. She recommended that I attend learning technique sessions and receive extra time for tasks, but these never happened.

I also did poorly on my high school entrance exam. During high school, my results and motivation were very fluctuating. I took the final exams despite all of the mentioned problems, without advanced exams. Although my grades were around fours, the percentages weren't very strong, but honestly, I wasn’t very focused or ambitious back then.

After graduating, I went to adult education and completed it, but I'm still searching for my path. There might still be a faint hope in me about continuing my studies, as I’m much more open to learning now.

My anorexia later turned into bulimia, which I haven't fully recovered from yet. Additionally, I have borderline personality disorder and avoidant personality disorder, which further complicates my self-esteem and stability.

I really want to learn more, to understand the world better, but whenever I set a goal (a language exam, further studies), the series of disappointments I’ve gone through comes to mind, and I'm immediately filled with a sense of worthlessness. Plus, I always compare myself to others, which only worsens the situation.

I’m not sure if my problems are just caused by anxiety, or if there is actually an untreated learning disorder that has been hindering me over the years.

Honestly, at this point, I don’t even know how to function properly in everyday life. How can I start from here so that the past and my mental problems don’t paralyze me so much? Would it be worth seeing a specialist (maybe one who deals with people with learning issues or personality disorders), or is there anything else that could help?

Let me know if you need anything else