Why don't I go non verbal?

I (f16) am sure I'm somewhere on the spectrum but something that's always made we questions myself is that I don't go non verbal when over whelmed or upset. Sometimes after a breakdown I'll stay silent and feel more comforted if I don't say anything but that doesn't last for long. I'm too embarrassed and anxious at the idea of being completely silent infront of other people so even if I would feel better to just say nothing I still talk. It's not painful to talk in situations like that, just not preferred. Does this count as going non verbal or is this different?