I'm fat and I hate myself

Also TW for anxiety/depression.

I'm a 20 year old woman and I'm 163 cm tall. I currently weigh >70 kilograms and that means I'm overweight. I gained a lot of weight between April 2023 and now. I was in a clinic for my mental health between April 2023 and April 2024 and they'd measure my weight monthly. I weighed 54 kg when I started my treatment, a healthy weight for my height. However I noticed my weight increasing every month. At some point I've snacked a lot and I'd see my weight increase by 3 kg in one month and this alarmed me. But... I really dislike almost all sports and forms of exercise, plus I barely have any stamina, and I suffer from a depression (which is why I was in the clinic). I was never a sporty kid, I'd much rather just make art instead of run laps. I took dancing classes but quit because school was pressuring the hell out of me. And I'm very used to using comfort food as a coping method for my depressive thoughts. The thought of replacing it with healthy food is making me sad. I definitely have "flaws" like belly fat, love handles, hip dips, stretch marks etc. I feel like I'm a failure for not losing weight and struggling with maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Everyone keeps telling me to "be healthier" but nobody wants to help. I'm not obese and wear a size medium, but I feel like I'm way too fat. I feel like I'm lazy for not having lost any weight at all. I tried eating healthier but it's fucking difficult, especially as a depressed autistic person who is so used to comfort food and has food aversion. I hate myself immensely for this. I feel ugly for not being fit. Sometimes I wish I could just get rid of my body fat instantly and just feel confident in my skin. I know I objectively can lose body weight, but it subjectively feels nearly impossible. How do you lose weight when you don't know what suits you and you're struggling with your mental health? A lot of people I know make jokes about fat people. I've seen a lot of people saying stuff that translates to "nobody will love you if you're not skinny". I wish losing weight wasn't that fucking hard. I wish I could just workout like a normal person.