Can I be your book friend? 😔

This may get gushy and long but I do have a point and I do hope anyone who reads it, will be a future book buddy!

I recently had to leave an online book community that I started 2 years for...reasons. I continue to struggle to move on; there were book friends in that community I considered best friends with whom I made during a very dark time in my life.

And it’s been hard to accept that this once happy safe place where I could obsesses about romance books while chatting with friends who validated each other - in this space, I no longer felt that comfort anymore because when I expressed hurt and emotions, distress I felt about world events and how they were impacting me, the community I trusted let me down. And really left others down because I felt like there was this unspoken discouragement in discussion anything that made people uncomfortable like it was taboo. Coming into that space felt like being gaslit. And as a result, this also was ruining the whole “book friends gushing about romance” aspect of it too.

I realize reading romance books is a form of escapism. I 100% subscribe to this because how else are we going to recharge our mental sanity so we can start fresh and take on the next mental load of the everyday difficulties AND the current distressing state the world is in. Who says you shouldn't enjoy things in life while also addressing uncomfortable, but VERY IMPORTANT topics. Why do you have to pick one or the other in a community you already have built a trusting foundation with? If you can’t talk about what distresses you most within a community of friends you already trust, then who can you talk to? This is how people get isolated in their dark thoughts.

Because romance books are such a big part of my life, I learned that it’s impossible for me to compartmentalize my feelings/emotions about romance books, book friends and my IRL feelings. Maybe that was my flaw? Is thr book community not the appropriate place to talk about these feelings? I hope not. I hope to find more book friends who can balance reading romance, chatting with their book friends, make meaningful friendships AND YET at the same time allow each other to be open and talking about their values, important topics, and respect each other while doing so.

Because let me tell you - to be part of a community you love but feeling like you and your thoughts, concerns, value etc. no longer “fit in” - it can make someone feel so lonely and for me especially, I was dangerously close to resenting my love for romance books.

TL;DR

The discord book club I started which was once my happy safe place full of so many book friends, ended up making me feel so lonely when I tried to express my struggles with what is happening in the world and as a response,for the majority, I was gaslit, ignored, scolded, or shamed. I had to leave before I started to resent my love for romance books. A handful of book friends left with me and I am so grateful to them everyday that we can still keep in touch, but it’s been limited to the times and how to do so. I miss the day to day chats and just meeting new book friends with different perspectives. Can I be your book friend please? 😔

Edit for spelling and syntax (I’m the worst impulse poster and editor layer 😅)

Edit as of noon on June 19: I am omg so overwhelmed with all of these beautiful messages I woke up to today! Wow I thought I was mostly emotion dumping during a weak moment of feeling so down. Never did I think I’d get such an uplifting response 🥹 I haven’t had a chance to go through them all. I have some silly adulting stuff do today but you guys best believe I can’t wait to come back and respond to you wonderful people! Add me on goodreads in the meantime! https://www.goodreads.com/serena1787 I have some other socials in my profile! ☺️

Edit as of June 21 I tried to respond to a few comments below but there are just so mnay of you wonderful people and I think I was repeating myself 😅 So if you happen to come back and see this just know THANK YOU for your kind and uplifting messages and showing me that the book community is alive and wonderful! As far as starting another book club, I think I am going to relax for now and engage on here and Goodreads (my profile link is above and socials in my profile). But feel free to also DM me here.

I mainly read historical romance (I have read CR - there's a background why I dont anymore) but I am an AVID audiobook listener so I can talk about that entire world, I also like to talk about bookish habits, book organizations (I use notion and can give tips) and just bookish topics and humor.