Be Realistic: Don’t Resent 'Boyfriend Material' Treatment; Reciprocate the Lack of Love

Instead of resenting how women treat boyfriend-material men worse than hookup guys, simply adjust how you approach relationships.

Many men eventually realize that women often show more passion and enthusiasm for casual flings while expecting long-term partners to prove their worth. This isn’t random, it reflects how manipulators select their targets. Women, consciously or not, test men to see who they can control, making them work for approval rather than simply reciprocating attraction. They know exactly what they’re doing, everyone understands the power of being wanted. That’s why Chad gets effortless affection while Beta Billy has to earn every scrap of attention. And while women have the right to choose their behavior, those choices come with consequences.

The best response? Reciprocity. If you’re putting in effort, expect the same in return. Does your girlfriend make you feel desired? Does she go out of her way for you? Is she as selfless with you as she was with Chad? If the answer is no, don’t complain, adjust your loyalty accordingly. Relationships should be mutual. If your effort isn’t being matched, that tells you exactly how much (or little) she values you.

And if another woman shows you real desire, why hesitate? She’s already treating you better than your current girlfriend. Even if you have to put in effort to get with someone new, as long as she’s more attractive and genuinely wants you, you’re upgrading. Your girlfriend has already shown you she doesn’t desire you, and committing to someone like that will only hurt you in the long run. If another woman wants to hook up with you, why not take the opportunity? If you meet someone more attractive and she’s interested, why not pursue it? If you have to put in work to get a better woman, you’re still gaining more than staying loyal to someone who sees you as a backup plan. Even better, if you find someone who wants a casual relationship or a one-night stand, she’s already treating you as more desirable than your current girlfriend ever did. Doesn’t it make more sense to choose the woman who finds you attractive and wants you for who you are, rather than one who only values you based on what you provide?

There’s no benefit in staying committed to a woman who has already shown she doesn’t truly desire you, that’s only setting yourself up for pain. If your girlfriend only sees you as a convenience, treat her the same. She becomes a placeholder until you find someone who actually values you.

Relationships are a two-way street. If she gave her best to another man but expects you to settle for less, why be loyal? If she treats you like you’re secondary, treat her the same. Play by the same rules, and don’t settle for less than what you deserve.