Anyone not feel the same after an intense bad trip ? If so tell me your story ?

Long story short I took an eighth (3.5 grams) of penis envy mushrooms and had a horrific trip . I was convinced I damaged my brain and was never gonna be the same ever again . The hallucinations were crazy , as I was laying in my bed I was slightly seeing shadows and was feeling presences in my room even though it’s just me by myself , at one point I saw a demonic face morphing out of my window curtains . Gonna sound graphic but also at some point I was so overwhelmed and convinced I was fucked forever I was gonna end my own life right then and there by slicing my arm with a switch blade I had , I didn’t want to burden my family and I certainly couldn’t bare to live with being brain damaged so I sat and really thought about it with the blade in my hand , closed my eyes and some how time traveled to my own funeral seeing the outcome if I do end my life , saw a lot of my loved ones and everyone was so devastated but what made me tear up was seeing my 2 daughters approach my coffin , visualizing this I quickly snapped out of it and fought my best to ride it out . I was pacing back and forth , constantly drinking water , throwing water at my face , even took a dab but didn’t help at all , got to a point we’re my mom got suspicious and I immediately confessed when she asks what’s wrong , I told her I ate shrooms and she didn’t really get to upset just annoyed but then she sat me down at the kitchen table and calmed me down by talking about good memories and I suddenly had this amazing euphoric feeling running through my body probably one of the best highs ever . Certainly one of the most intense trip iv ever had in my life

AFTER MATH : so a month later I started to experience intense derealization/depersonalization whenever I smoked cannabis which sucks considering I’v been a huge pothead since middle school. So every time i smoked or drank I would immediately get anxious and feel this strong detachment from myself and reality itself , it was like I got some sort of ptsd from that bad trip , it was scary and felt totally helpless I thought to myself I really did it this time and was never gonna be the same again , at some points in my life i suffer from depression and anxiety but it was like it got so much worse after the bad trip . Gonna sound weird but I challenged the strange detached feeling by continuing to smoke cannabis even tho it was giving me panic attacks , because I refused to be defeated . A few months later I was able to get it under control and was able to smoke cannabis without getting panic attacks So for like whole year my mental health got a little rocky but was slowly recovering and healing . What honestly kept me from having a complete melt down was my family kids and making music . If anyone is going through this my advice would he to remain calm and tell yourself it’s gonna ok , cause it is gonna be ok ..constantly distract yourself from those dark moments , you have a hobby ? Get super into it and build your skills , with that being said I also suggest you take care of your psychical and mental health , excersise , meditate watch tutorials on how to better yourself . These psychedelic substances ain’t no joke so take them cautiously and with respect .