Did everything to ask my husband to stop sleeping on the couch but he won’t stop and now I’ve accepted it.

UPDATE

Everyone seems to be giving me advice on how i can solve the problem if him not sleeping in the same bed as me but that’s not why I posted this time and not what I asked in terms of advice. Like I said, I’ve done everything. Relationship therapy, compromising, he’s in individual therapy, I’m helping him financially to relieve stress and I support him otherwise mentally. Before, I used to put more pressure on him to solve his problems but I’ve let that go because it was detrimental to his mental health. Our relationship is better for him now, it doesn’t feel better for me. Giving him space to feel less stressed and accepting certain behaviours is what is causing me to feel sad. I asked advice on how to deal with this internally. I can’t make him do things he doesn’t want to do (sleep in the bed with me).

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I’m writing this feeling really lonely and sad about it tbh. My husband (38m) and I (32F) have been married for 9 years and we have 2 kids together, I’m pregnant with the third. For the past 3 or so years he ends up sleeping on the couch for almost every night.

Like I said in the title, I did everything I could to get him to sleep in the same bed as me but he just won’t. He’ll try for a couple of nights and then gets back to sleeping on the couch. We’ve had fights about this, we’ve made compromises about it (3 nights in our bed and 4 nights he could do what he wanted to) and still nothing helped. For context we’ve been going through a lot of issues and I’m trying to be there for him to deal with his mental health.

The reason I’m posting today is because I’ve come to the realisation that I can’t make him do something he just doesn’t want to do but I’m already seeing the consequences. I’m now used to sleeping alone and actually sleep better than when he’s next to me. Our intimacy is of course way down. And I used to have a high libido (even during pregnancy) but not anymore. I’m like okay with the situation and that’s causing me to be a bit sad. I never thought my life would go like this and I can’t help but thinking, if I feel like this now, how will I feel years down the line? What if I get to a point where I really can’t imagine seeing myself sharing a bedroom with him and becoming even less interested in intimacy? I can see that happening as a consequence of being ignored for years.

Talking doesn’t change anything. I used to be so angry in the mornings when he fell asleep on the couch again but I don’t feel anger anymore. Just sadness and loneliness. Just posting here because it’s been years of this now and I’m noticing a difference within myself and wondering how I can deal with all of this internally.