Seeking Perspectives on Kashrut Before My Beit Din

Hi friends,

I’m approaching my beit din to finalize my conversion, and I want to process some hang-ups I have around kashrut laws beforehand. I’d love to hear how others have navigated this mitzvah, especially if it wasn’t intuitive for you at first.

To be upfront, I struggle with two main things:

• A rebellious streak around rules that feel arbitrary.
• A complicated relationship with food due to past disordered eating, which can make restrictions feel triggering.

There’s also some personal history layered in: I grew up Muslim and avoided pork most of my life, which makes the whole topic feel… heavy.

That said, I do want to engage with kashrut in a meaningful way. My rabbi has given me flexibility to set my own level of observance, and so far, my commitment is simply to try avoiding pork at home. (I know it’s a small step, but please be gentle with criticism—I'm trying!)

Lately, as I turn to Hashem more for comfort and clarity, I feel pulled to deepen my practice. But every time I try to go further, I get overwhelmed by the rules and fixate on everything I “can’t” have—enough to shut down completely.

My rabbi told me that for her, keeping kashrut fosters a sense of connection with the Jewish people and brings holiness to her meals. That’s beautiful, but if I’m honest, it doesn’t click for me—at least, not yet.

So, I’d love to hear from you:

• What inspired you to keep kashrut?
• If you struggled with it at first, how did your relationship with it evolve?
• Have you found ways to frame kashrut that feel meaningful or empowering rather than restrictive?

I’d especially appreciate insight from those who came to kashrut later in life or found it challenging at first.

Thank you so much for your wisdom and kindness!