TIFU by finding out I've been accidentally dating and fucking my half-sister, after taking a 23andme DNA test
I am not The OOP, OOP is u/AccidentalxIncest
TIFU by finding out I've been accidentally dating and fucking my half-sister, after taking a 23andme DNA test
Originally posted to r/tifu
MOOD SPOILER: horror and sadness
Original Post Jan 12, 2019
Throwaway, obviously. I also made the same post over at r/23andme.
I just found out a few hours ago and my girlfriend and I are currently a mental wreck.
Quick background
My girlfriend (I'll refer to her as Sarah) and I have been dating for a little over than a year and our relationship has been going very well. We both happen to come from the same town and met each other in college after being introduced by a mutual friend of ours.
Here's where the FU begins to unravel
Last year for Christmas, Sarah decided to come over and stay with me at my apartment for the holidays. I also had decided not to go home for the holidays either. Plus, all my other roommates were back home visiting family, so we had the whole place to ourselves. It was perfect.
Christmas day rolls around, and Sarah had bought the both of us 23andme DNA kits. The thing is, is that we were both conceived by in-vitro fertilization via sperm donors. Both of our fathers were infertile so our parents had no choice. Deep down, the both of us were hoping to find our biological fathers through the service.
Fast forward less than a month later to today, and both of our results are in. Sarah comes over to spend the weekend and we go through our results together on our laptops. We compare our ancestry and health reports and nothing seems off. I even found out I'm 2% Native American. All was well until we arrived at the "DNA relatives" section...
Sarah tightly holds my hand and says "I hope we both find our fathers". Then I open mine up....
At the top of my screen, I see Sarah's name.... "27% DNA shared...half-sister.........."
Sarah starts hysterically laughing and tells me to stop joking.
I don't react to anything she says, and just stare at my screen in disbelief.
I then abruptly grab her laptop and open up her "DNA relatives" section. We see the same thing. My name at the top... "27% DNA shared...half-brother"
At this moment my brain just completely short-circuits.....
I'VE BEEN HAVING SEX WITH MY HALF-SISTER. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. WTF
My mind starts going a 100mph and I began hyperventilating, going into a state of shock. I can't even remember what Sarah was doing at this time.
It's pretty self-explanatory by now, but for those of you who don't understand how we could be related, it turns out our moms were probably both fertilized by the same sperm sample. What are the fucking odds, right? The fact that we're from the same town certainly increased the odds but still.
6 hours later, just typing this entire post makes my body shiver. There are no words I have to express what my mental state is now. To put it in simple words: I feel traumatized. Part of me still won't stop thinking about how much I love Sarah and then I realize our entire relationship was incest. I honestly feel disgusted standing in my own skin. I've even been contemplating suicide.
Sarah and I haven't talked at all since going into shock.
Right as I'm finishing up this post, Sarah has grabbed her stuff and left my apartment a few moments ago.
I'm probably not going to respond to any of your comments/questions for now and I honestly want to be left alone in the corner of my room. I really just needed a place to vent all this.
TL;DR: Former gf and I are both sperm donor babies and come from the same town. We take a 23andme DNA test and find out we're each other's half-sibling. Meaning I've been having sex with my sister for over a year. Turns out we both were conceived from the same sperm sample, go figure.
I do not give permission for my post to be used in the making of any movie, story, book, etc.
EDIT: My mates just came home and are giving me support.
EDIT 2: RIP inbox. Thank you all so much for the support. I just logged back in and didn't really expect this post to blow up. Last night was rough. Sarah's friend/roommate called letting me know Sarah was home. As of now, Sarah and I still haven't talked. But after an night of thinking, I believe I've come to terms with what we've discovered. For those of you who still think this is fake (I honestly wish it was), here's a screenshot showing our shared DNA (https://i.imgur.com/Z0zm9xi.png). I think the best way for Sarah and I to heal is to go back home (our town) and see how this all began with our families. Only then will we be able to accept the reality. I'll post more updates as things develop.
(EDIT 2)Proof:(https://i.imgur.com/Z0zm9xi.png)
RELEVANT COMMENTS
VNVDVI
How small is your town? The odds of a couple both having parents with fertility problems, who went to the same sperm bank, and used the same sperm sample is so unbelievably small, holy shit
OOP
Our town has a population of ~40k, and both of our parents had to go to a clinic one state over. I still can't contemplate the odds of this happening
~
Spacemutant14
I’m a moderator of r/23andme, and you guys would have no idea how common these types of events are. Not this type specifically (this one is a first) but generally non-paternity events and other family scandals are the most common.
I swear, we can’t go a
weekday without having at least 4 posts about people finding out their fathers aren’t their bio-dads or some other family drama.As for OP, I’m so sorry you have to go through this and Ik this is painful to go through. I would recommend you rest until you’re feeling well enough to talk to anyone. Please don’t hurt your self and please call the suicide hot line if you ever are considering suicide. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help and try to find support groups for these types of things. If at anytime you feel like your mental state is rapidly deteriorating, DONT WAIT, get help. Talk to someone, friends, family, etc.
USA: tel:+18002738255
Here’s a list for other countries:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
Here’s a support group:
http://www.watersheddna.com/contact
Edit: Thanks for gold and silver kind redditors!
OOP
Thank you for the advice and support
TIFUpdate Feb 1, 2019
First things first, just wow. I can't thank you all enough for the support through the kind comments and messages. I wish I could reply to all of them, but there are just too many.
I'll answer some common questions I received towards the end of the post, but I'll first start with where we left off.
After a long dreadful night full of surprises, I woke up the next morning questioning everything. I called bullshit on the test and immediately called Sarah. She picks up telling me she's already booked an appointment with a Genetic counselor. Good, we're both on the same page. The next day, we meet with the genetic counselor specifying in patients who take tests with commercial companies. TLDR of what she said was, while the Ancestry reports can be interpreted with a degree of skepticism, DNA matches are determined directly through the raw DNA data, meaning the connection is either there or it isn't. We asked if there was a possibility that we contaminated each other's samples. She said that our samples would have been flagged by the system (apparently that's easy to spot). Even if our 'contaminated' samples magically made it through the system, we would have been shown to be sharing completely identical segments, while 23andme showed we only share half identical segments.
It was basically confirmed by a specialist at this point and the same feeling of dread I had the other night began to set in again. My friend called an hour later, telling Sarah and I to upload our raw data to a 3rd party dna site online, as extra confirmation. We did just that, and surprise surprise, we're shown as being half-siblings.
Sarah and I spent the rest of the day calling both of our parents and explaining everything. We all came to the conclusion of Sarah and I taking a weekend trip back home, to see how this all started. This idea came to me the same night when the whole ordeal began.
Ever since that night, Sarah and I, understandably, haven't been the same. I've been trying to mentally cope with my emotions. The logic part of me is telling me "Incest bad, not right, break up" while emotionally, I still love Sarah. I'm having this constant battle in my head, and I'm sure Sarah is too. All of this was especially apparent when Friday rolled around. We both packed our bags and hopped into my car. During our ENTIRE drive up North towards home, not a single fucking word from the both of us. 5 hours later, we finally made it to Sarah's house (the agreed meeting destination). Right before we exit the car, my brain decides to short-circuit. I grab Sarah's hand and lean into kiss her. She stops me, looks me in the eyes, and after brief pause while teary-eyed says "No matter what the outcome of all this will be, I'll be leaving having gained a brother." That shit hit me HARD. We both hug each other and start crying. For the first time in nearly a week, I felt some kind of relief while simultaneously thinking "WTF is going on". Sarah and I both being the emotional meat bags we are, stop hugging and head inside before one of us mentally breaks down (again).
2 hours later my parents arrive, and we all sit down and formally meet for the first time. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention how this is the first time both my parents and I are meeting Sarah's family? Imagine how fucking awkward that shit is. I'll spare you all the cringeful details of all of us trying to make the whole situation a 'normal conversation'.
Both of our mother's brought the sperm donor IDs. For those of you who don't know what that is, when a woman has received a sperm donor sample from a cryo-bank, it comes with a ID that is unique to that specific donor. Our mother's compare the IDs and... they're a match. Sarah and I were conceived from the same donor (which we had already guessed to be the case).
The rest of the night was spent discussing what to do going on. As much as I still had feelings for her, Sarah and I came to the conclusion of breaking up. We decided to go to a bi-weekly counseling therapist, to help us get past all this crap and transition into a sibling relationship.
We spent the rest of our weekend catching up with our families and headed back to uni on Monday.
As of now, 12 days later, Sarah and I are going to therapy together and we've maintained a friendly relationship, still keeping in touch throughout the week. Mentally, we're both much better but still have a long way to go. It's to early to tell, but I have hope for the future.
Q&A:
Q: When were you both conceived?
A: We were both conceived a month apart, and born 5 weeks apart.
Q: Do you guys look alike?
A: No, not really. The only thing we 'have in common' are our somewhat similar noses.
Q: What were your ancestry results?
A: Idk why this was a really common question I got through pm, but here you go
Q: What town are you both from?
A: No
Q: Why do you both care? You should stay together.
A: There's no way that's happening in this society, nor do I want it to happen. We'd have to deal with social and even legal problems (depending on the state). Also, we'd run the risk of conceiving a genetically unhealthy child if we chose to have kids.
Q: Were you two able to find your biological father?
A: Sarah and I didn't match closely (in terms of 1st cousins and up) with anyone else on 23andme, and as of now, we no longer have a desire to find our bio-father. The genetic counselor mentioned we should keep an eye out for any future half-siblings taking the test.
TLDR: Confirmed incest with specialist, went back home with ex-gf/half-sister, moms confirmed the same sperm sample. Sarah and I have maintained a 'sibling-like' relationship and are currently in therapy.
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