your ivy league schools want bums, not you

let's gather here for a sec...

ok hi miss americana, and hello to you, international kid with the best ecs in your country. here’s the thing no one tells you until it’s too late: colleges don’t want you. not because you’re not good enough, but because they’re obsessed with something else entirely: personality. fun personality. the kind of person they think could be their best friend or make them laugh at 2 a.m. during office hours.

the era of polished essays and perfect high-impact activities? over. they don’t want you to be the “perfect fit” for their school’s opportunities. they want you to feel like someone who just stumbled into greatness: effortlessly kewl, laid-back, and, frankly, a bum. yale will reject the world scholars cup champion to let in that average kid from your school who made the ao chuckle in their essay about accidentally eating dog food as a kid.

and yeah, it’s stupid. ngl, it’s super unfair. a kid who dreamed of princeton their whole life, who worked endlessly to prove they belonged, will get rejected. meanwhile, a bum who didn’t care, wrote a chaotic essay, and accidentally hit the right nerve will get in. it’s not about who deserves it more anymore; it’s about who vibes with the ao.

if you applied ed/rea to your dream school, especially without prior experience writing college essays, this might be what got you rejected. not your “below average” 1530, not your national ecs. it’s that you tried too hard to be impressive, to show you belonged, and they just weren’t fw vibing with that energy. it’s not your fault, but this is the game now.

i got into brown because i didn’t care about brown. my essays for brown? least polished of all my t10 apps. i didn’t try to impress anyone. i wasn’t aiming to prove i was a perfect fit. i wrote like i didn’t care if they liked me or not, and apparently, that’s what they liked. (and frankly, i actually didn't even care for brown)

so, as you’re tweaking those jan 15 essays, keep this in mind: stop trying to convince them you’re perfect. stop writing essays that scream, please, let me in, i worked so hard. start writing like you’re already in. write like you’re the bum they’ll want to sit next to in the dining hall, not the overachiever who’ll stress them out with perfect test scores and an airtight resume.

it’s stupid. it’s unfair. but it’s the truth. the era of try-hards is over. the bums are winning. adjust accordingly.

(and as a little note, you are obviously not a bum bum if you managed to get into one of these schools; you deserved it. own it! this is just for those who need a last minute advice, and juniors who will start overthinking their supps.)